Junie B.’s First Ever Ebook Collection!: Books 1–4 by Barbara Park; Illustrated by Denise Brunkus

Author:Barbara Park; Illustrated by Denise Brunkus [Park, Barbara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-97803-5
Publisher: Random House
Published: 2012-05-22T00:00:00+00:00

9/Pigs and Ducks and Stuff

Principal went into Room Nine with me.

Then he clapped his giant hands together.

“Boys and girls? May I please have your attention?” he said. “I would like to explain what happened during Show and Tell today. It’s about Junie B. Jones and her new baby brother.”

Just then that Jim I hate jumped right up out of his chair.

“He’s not a monkey, is he?” he shouted very loud. “I knew it! I knew he wasn’t a monkey!”

I made a big fist at him. “HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THIS UP YOUR NOSE, YOU BIG DUMB JIM?” I hollered.

Then Principal frowned at me. And so I smiled.

“I hate that guy,” I said nicely.

After that, Principal took a big breath.

“Boys and girls, there’s a good reason why Junie B. told you that her baby brother was a monkey,” he said.

“Yeah! It was all my grandma Miller’s fault!” I interrupted. “Because she told me that my brother was a little monkey. Only she didn’t mean he was a real little monkey. She just meant he was cute. Only who the heck knew that dumb thing?”

Principal made another frown at me. Then he talked some more.

“You see, boys and girls,” he said. “Sometimes adults say things that can be very confusing to children. Like what if you heard me talking about a lucky duck? You might think I was talking about a real live duck. But lucky duck just means a lucky person.”

“Right,” said Mrs. “And when we call someone a busy bee, we don’t mean he’s a real bee. We just mean he’s a hard worker.”

“Hey! I just thought of another one!” I said very excited. “A dumb bunny isn’t a real alive bunny, either! It’s just a plain old dumb guy!”

Then my friend Lucille raised her hand.

“I’ve got one, too,” she said. “Sometimes my nanna calls my daddy a couch potato. Only he’s not a real potato. He’s just a lazy bum.”

“Yeah, and I’m not a big pig,” said my new boyfriend Ricardo. “But my mom says I eat like one.”

After that, a whole bunch of other kids said they eat like big pigs, too.

Only a boy named Donald said he eats like a horse.

And crybaby William eats like a bird.

Just then it was time for the bell to ring. And so me and Principal said bye-bye to each other. And I went to my seat.

Then I gave Lucille back her red chair. She was very nice to me.

“I’m sorry that your brother isn’t a real monkey, Junie B.,” she said.

“Thank you, Lucille,” I said. “I’m sorry that your daddy isn’t a real potato, too.”

After that, the bell rang for us to go home. And so me and Lucille and that Grace held hands. And we walked outside together.

Only then a very wonderful thing happened!

And it’s called—I heard my mother’s voice!

“JUNIE B.! JUNIE B.! OVER HERE, HONEY. DADDY AND I ARE OVER HERE!”

Then I looked in the parking lot. And I saw her! And so I runned to her speedy quick. And then me and Mother hugged and hugged.

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